CUSTOMER SERVICE FROM A DRUNK
AS a much younger person, I was employed as the customer service department for a small company that created foreign language learning tapes for children. In addition to the responsibility of answering all emails and calls about the product, I was given the power to create customer coupons.
Below are initial queries and my responses. In each case, the customer declined to respond to my response likely because of their level of customer satisfaction.
QUERY: Yvonne
Hello,
I wanted to give you feedback on the DVD program:
The descriptive part of the program worked beautifully: my daughter can name of variety of objects and makes simple descriptive sentences. She can also count, name colors etc. What she cannot do is communicate with others. The intra- personal communication aspect of the program is seriously lacking. She cannot ask for anything or ask people how they are. She cannot talk about what she likes or dislikes or what she wants to do. Are you planning on making another set of DVD to give children communicative skills as opposed to just descriptive skills? I am taking her to France this winter and people will laugh at me if I tell them she's been learning French because she cannot tell them anything just describe random things. This is disappointing!
-Yvonne
RESPONSE
Dear -Yvonne,
Thanks so much for the feedback. These emails go a long way in improving our programs. I'm glad your little one is making progress. Our programs are designed to teach children the basics of a foreign language to give them the keys to the vast, barreling machine that is French, a language mostly comprised of barrels. As for the later part of your email, I think you'll find the French to be a very understanding, forgiving people, in a word: easytodealwith. And they love description! I'd say the better part of all communication in French is descriptive. I myself love to describe. Take a look at this sculpture of Prometheus by Nicolas-Sébastien Adam:
I'd describe it as sublime, vital and dynamic. I'd say there is one person in this sculpture, and about half of one imaginably red liver. How would you describe it?
QUERY: Sarnah
Hello,
I was so thrilled to receive your promotional offer by email. 40% off, swayed our decision to go with Little Pim. Valid till midnight, great I will do it when the kids go to bed.
I was very disappointed when I tried to complete purchase of the complete French set just now, only to discover that the coupon has expired.
Of course, I'm in Australia...our midnight is a little different to yours.
Very frustrating.
Regards,
Sarnah
RESPONSE
Dearest Sarnah,
Your email reminded me of the beginning of a poem by Stephen Edgar. It begins:
"It's midnight now and sounds like midnight then,
The words like distant stars that faintly grace
The all-pervading dark of space,
But not meant for the world of men."
It sound like we ran one of those "sounds like midnight then" situations with the coupon. I'm happy to generate a coupon anew for you. At checkout, please enter "diffmidnightau12". This code should offer the same discount with the same terms as the other. (If you're interested in the rest of the poem text, it can be found here: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/180534). This new coupon is good for one use, but, like Gwen in the poem (she comes in later), it will never expire.
Thanks so much for the email. Let me know if you have any further questions!
TJ DiFrancesco
QUERY: Cindy
Hello,
On Monday, Dec. 2nd ("Cyber Monday"), I was placing an order for several items but after entering the 40% discount code, there was a notice on my screen stating that the code expired. If you take a look at the attached screenshot, you can clearly see the banner at the top advertising the 40% off Cyber Monday discount as well as the "code expired" notice directly below it. You will also see that the time is just after 10:00 PM on Monday. I would love to purchase these items as part of my daughters' Christmas gifts and I would greatly appreciate it if there's a way for me to still receive the discount, considering the circumstances.
Thank you very much for your understanding.
Cindy Reno
Sent from my iPhone
RESPONSE
Dear Cindy,
Understanding barely begins to describe it! I'm also emotionally drawn to generate a new coupon code for you. The terms for this new code will be exactly the same as the deal we offered for Cyber Monday. Thanks so much for the email!
At checkout, enter "4cindyren0"
This coupon is personalized. It begins with 4, as in "for" then contains your name and ends with the number zero, which closely resembles the last letter in your name. It was my hope that the 40, (the forty percent discount you will be receiving) could be reflected in the code and, in effect, metaphorically contain your order without sacrificing any practical accuracy. This is a new pilot program we are trying to implement. Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks again! Hope you are well.
TJ DiFrancesco